Saturday, April 19, 2008

What gives? I'm a guy!

Momma always told me that it’s always okay for me to get grimed and dirtied. After all, “you’re a guy,” she would forever mention. Because of my mom’s almost-canonical statement, I have learned to never care if my hands got soiled, or if I had to endure walking under the hell-like Manila sun. What gives? I’m a guy!

Of course, I developed some sort of “self-consciousness” when it came to my clothing, my smell, and on my over-all appearance as I became older and started to make my efforts to be more attractive to the opposite gender. I’ve tried different hairstyles, copied the hippest trends, bought the most kick-ass Adidas T-mac’s, and made all steps to be the one Alpha Male on my pride.

Despite all of the things I’ve done (to my avail of course), the Biblical quotation from my Momma has never gone out of my psyche. Besides, Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt have always exuded that rough and manly persona that only added to their already overwhelming pizzazz. I thought to myself, “What gives? I’m a guy!”

The word M-E-T-R-O-S-E-X-U-A-L has always given me that confused look on my unshaven and oily face. Magazines have always mentioned that this is the new generation man who is unafraid to don girly makeup on his face. He plucks his eyebrows, puts toner on his face, regularly goes to the salon to have his weekly pedicure AND manicure. What else? He also waxes all unwanted hair and can even go far as having his skin whitened by taking whitening pills (in the Philippine context, to make my point clear).

Who are our perfect examples of Metrosexual men? Let me see, we have David Beckham, the man-god from the Los Angeles Galaxy, Zac Efron, THAT kid from High School Musical, and Derek Zoolander, the fictitious character popularized by Benn Stiller from the hit movie Zoolander. All of them have given credence to the existence of the new-age man.

However, it is not just male cosmetics (and Evian Mineral Water Spray?) that is concerned with metrosexuality, we also have men’s jewelry that is fast becoming a lifeblood to the new-age man. According to the Gemological Institute of America or GIA, “men today are demonstrating increasing fashion sophistication among themselves. They are undoubtedly more comfortable wearing jewelry – non-wedding rings, necklaces, and bracelets, for instance – than their fathers were.”

Basketball superstars, lovingly referred to as Ballers, are always seen wearing “ice” and “bling blings” on their necks and earlobes. Tracy McGrady of Houston Rockets is one of the ballers I always notice wearing diamond earrings on both lobes. Several others are always seen wearing thick silver necklaces while driving their prized Escalades and Navigators. Men’s jewelry has since become a basic staple to men’s fashion and metrosexuality. GQ has even gone far by evangelizing that “real men wear bling.”

When male lions simply use their mane to show attractiveness and peacocks use their intricate fans to magnetize peahens, men have gone the extra light-year by making things more complicated for him. No matter how complex the way has become for men to “mark their own territories and mates,” the prophetic passage from my Momma has always stayed clear. What gives? I’m a guy!

3 Responses to “What gives? I'm a guy!”

Jake Tornado said...
April 24, 2008 at 4:11 PM

This post made me wonder again about the mysteries of gender. As a boy, I'm irked with dirt, mud and other icky stuff compared with my peers. I was always the last one to run. That maybe explains why I'm more bisexual than straight (or even more gay than the one in the middle haha). What gives, anyway?

curbside_puppet said...
April 24, 2008 at 4:22 PM

you don't like icky stuff? maybe you really wouldn't want to meet me. i have a lot of strange rituals like smelling my feet after taking my socks off, i love to smell my hands everytime and wash it everytime it smelled bad. i catch myself off guard poking my navel and smell it (i think that one's gross). but anyhoo, no matter how nice my efforts have become to keep myself clean and smell good, my sisters always find ways to call me "mabaho."
that's why i always get offended(?) when friends tell me that i smell like an american because i always prefer showering at nights instead of daytime.

Jake Tornado said...
April 25, 2008 at 1:01 PM

Oh jeez! That's so gross man! I wanna bathe you in alcohol. Goodness. (Let's play wrestling later.)

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